Random Thoughts

“In that admission of our own insufficiency, unanticipated hope springs forth when we finally call on a forgotten God through prayer.”

by R. D. Frazier
source:  Faithfulness Forgotten

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Faithfulness Forgotten

A crimson leaf on the forest floor grabs the eye with saturated color.

A crimson leaf on the forest floor grabs the eye with saturated color.

The trail ahead promises no change; only a continuation of circumstance, each step mirroring the last with unperceived progress. Colors speak faintly under gray sky as cold sets in, occupying mind and soul. Light autumn rain merges horizon and landscape and a stiff breeze deepens the chill, provoking uninvited shivers; recollections of mountain vistas fade.

Was this our destination? Memories of this place in seasons past promised snow-capped peaks, rushing streams and the brilliant contrast of golden aspen against the muted hues of pine, fir and spruce. Instead we are met with shades of gray monotony and annoyance in this persistent cold rain, the chill seeping through to the bone. Are we on the right trail? In our struggle against the pallid gray veil, warm memories of place and time fail.

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Only the Wall

Unpainted walls reflect mood as I move through unfamiliar streets. Evidences of hard times speak through walls of gray. The untold story of better times quietly reveals itself in faded signs of past commerce on buildings long since abandoned or appropriated for lesser function. Economic depression confronts me on all sides in spite of the bright sunlit day. By contrast my own modest monetary sufficiency seems opulent.

Evidences of hard times speak through walls of gray.

Evidences of hard times speak through walls of gray.


As I turn the corner yet another more expansive wall comes into view. The building is still in use, although for what I am not sure, perhaps a boarding house, or maybe a local bar with living quarters in the back or upstairs. The blank rear wall is devoid of distinguishing features except for a few small windows and one sagging doorway. The height and width of the wall are what set it apart. Much taller than the surrounding single story structures and perhaps a quarter of a block wide, it is a single vertical plane of weathered wood absent of color, but revealing volumes of untold stories of struggle and pain expressed in the grayness. What lives are connected with this wall? How many times has there been joy, heartache or violence just behind it?

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Dawn Ascending

Ghosts of barbed wire fences flow past in the periphery as miles slide by. Headlights struggle to penetrate the blackness of night. Years remembered find conscious thoughts while the sleeping country road keeps silent company and the hours melt away.

Lonesomeness grows in yesterday’s memories haunted by family and friends. Blackness and monotony of pre-dawn travel create a melancholy mood recalling things that never will be, things that never have been, and promise unfulfilled. Dissatisfaction sets in as goals fade in the inadequacy of human effort, yet I continue in the blackness toward the day’s work which provides the sustenance of American life. Confidences of youth fade as years fall away in sequence and imagined future stagnates in necessary work.

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